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Thoughts about fear…

By Tracey Rissik

A friend forwarded on a great email this morning, on the topic of fear – and how it can impact out lives. I’m not going to reproduce it all here, but there were 2 paragraphs that really resonated :

It’s amazing what we can accomplish if we refuse to be afraid. Fear – whether it’s of pain, failure, or rejection – is a toxic emotion that creates monsters in our mind that consume self-confidence and intimidate us from doing our best or sometimes even trying at all.

and

….   For most law graduates, passing the bar exam should be no more difficult than walking across a board 20 feet long and two feet wide. The trouble is, they don’t walk normally because they’re intimidated by the illusion that the board is suspended 100 feet in the air and that getting across is a life-or-death matter. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Embarrassment, inconvenience, and expense – but none of these is fatal.

Perspective is an antidote to fear. Most things you fear will never happen, and even if they do, you can handle it.

I’ve been going through a lot of fear – in my head – recently, mainly around perceived lack of financial success, and a couple of weeks ago it go to the point where it was really impacting my ability to focus on my business.

Through chatting to a wise and wonderful friend, who gently questioned things I was asserting (she just asked, “Is that really true?” – very powerful…) I realised that

  • this fear was just in my head – I have a business that gives me a decent income
  • by focusing on “lack” I was forgetting about the abundance I have in so many areas of my life, and this led to unreasonable dissatisfaction, spiralling into fear
  • if I focus on things I want, and things I love about my life, I’m far more likely to action in those areas. Fear paralyses me and stops me doing pretty much anything.

So – you’re not alone if you get confounded by fear – but you can take a few steps to lessen its hold on you – so good luck

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Note from Katie:  To learn about a powerful clearing technique (Loving What Is), check out any of Byron Katie's work – just type in her name on YouTube, or visit her website.

Is Social Media Killing Authenticity?

By Jonathan Fields, Awake @ the Wheel

Every social media rulebook hails authenticity as the bastion of success in the world of digital interdigitation.

Yet, I have to confess something…

I wonder if the more ubiquitous social media becomes, the harder is to bear the burden of being authentic IRL (in real life)?

Because, with increasing frequency, you’re not the only person reporting on your every move anymore. When I’m at an event, a gathering, meeting or just having lunch, I’ve come to learn that every word out of my mouth is fair game for social media attribution and distribution. Maybe by the person on the other side of the conversation. Maybe by the person at the table behind me. Or, just a passerby.

And, that freaks me out a bit. Because when I put the message out there, I give it context.

But, when others translate it to social media, especially media that only allows for cherry-picked snippets…who knows?

This used to happen when I was in mainstream media on a fairly regular basis. I’d be interviewed for 30 minutes, then a few sentences or seconds would make it into the interview or segment. I learned, very quickly, how easily it is to be misquoted or have a snippet of a thought quoted out of context, with the meaning dramatically altered.

So, I trained myself to be increasingly politic when doing media interviews.

I was what I’d call cautiously authentic. Tactically transparent.

I said what was on my mind, but always added in a few beats before my thoughts left my mouth to try to frame it in a way that closed as many doors as possible to misquoting and mis-contextualizing. In fact, I began to encourage almost all media, save live TV or radio, do interviews by email, so I could craft and frame the message exactly as I wanted it to appear…and create a paper trail of the full conversation.

In my early days of blogging, I didn’t feel this same need to live-edit my speech.

There was a sense of freedom, of respect, of the desire to want to treat each other right. And, without the time or space limitations of traditional media, there was the ability to include the entire conversation. To keep the context in.

But, I wonder if that’s changed over the last few years, fueled by:

(1) the mass-adoption of social and communications tools that force aggressive truncation of messages, like twitter, texting, wall updates and beyond, (2) the near-pervasive expectation that not only anything you share in social media, but anything you say or do in person, even in real-life public or private, is fair game for publication and distribution,(3) a widespread sense of a lack of the need to provide context, edit, vet information or be accountable, and. (4) mobile access to tools that make sharing information as easy as hitting a few buttons on your cellphone.

I was recently at a conference and said something to a friend that, without knowing our relationship, could easily have been taken as biting or even a bit warped. But, between us, we were just messing around, building on a history we had, it was like a series of inside jokes. Someone behind us, though, overheard the exchange then turned and said, “dude, that’s going on twitter.”

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

I’m totally cool having what I said shared, as long as it’s framed in the nature of my relationship with the other person and the broader context of the joking conversation. Sadly, the chance of that happening in 140 characters is near zilch.

And, that realization has led most folks to now agree that when it comes to social media, you’ve got to be willing to lose control over your message. But, the corollary to that is, you’ve also got to be willing to exert more control over how that message leaves your mouth to give it the best chance of being framed and shared in the way that fully expresses your intent…even if your preference is that it not be shared at all.

Which means I’m left back in my days of live-censoring my conversations, for fear of being miscontextualized, but this time, it’s not just about my conversation with a single reporter…

It’s about every word out of my mouth, because EVERYONE’S now a reporter!

This growing knowledge has slowly drawn me from being fairly free, transparent and authentic with how interact not only online, but out in public or on the phone and in email to being more cautiously authentic. Tactically transparent. It’s led me to include the line, “The content of this e-mail is off the record, unless agreed otherwise” at the end of every email I send.

And it’s set that line up as an automatic cognitive filter in my conversations. Yes, even friendly, face-to-face conversations.

Because, you just don’t how, when, where or why snippets might end up online and out of context.

So, in this odd way, I’ve been feeling a growing sense that the mass adoption of social reporting technology is increasingly encouraging me to stifle, rather than embrace a sense of complete authenticity.

Not because I have major skeletons in my closet that are freaking me out (note to self, buy more nails for that closet!). But, because, it’s become so much easier to become a target of misattribution, misquoting and mis-contextualizing when every person in every direction is potentially reporting on your every word and move (and, trust me, I’m really not that interesting).

Especially when the ADDention span and character limits of the medium increasingly encourage speed over depth and breath.

And, yes, I get that I now also have my own bully pulpit upon which I can fire back.

But, honestly…that’s just not how I want to spend my time.

Curious, anybody else feeling this?

Or, is it all in my head?

 

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Tree-Hugging For Money

By Jonathan Fields, Awake @ The Wheel

“Who are businesses really responsible to? Their customers? Shareholders? Employees? We would argue that it’s none of the above. Fundamentally, businesses are responsible to their resource base. Without a healthy environment there are no shareholders, no employees, no customers and no business.” ~Patagonia founder, Yvon Chouinard

The conversation around corporate responsibility over the last few decades has been, almost entirely, from the mouths of two warring factions. Those who believe in maximizing shareholder wealth by any means necessary and those who believe in corporate citizenship, which until recent years has almost always been viewed in the context of people, with a smallish bit of lip service to the environment.

Then came Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth, followed this year by The Big Spill.

Longtime readers of this blog know I don’t get political here (at least rarely). Not that I don’t have opinions, this just isn’t my outlet for them. But, I do talk about business, and our responsibilities, dreams and quests as creators, problem-solvers, leaders and builders of legacy.

As a securities attorney, first at the SEC, then at a private firm in NYC, I was duty-bound by the law. And, so were board’s, officers and decision-makers of every public corporation. All were under a fiduciary duty to maximize shareholder wealth. Without fail, the measure of shareholder wealth was stock price, profitability and dividend. In all but the rarest of circumstance, the notion of corporate citizenship was considered only as a “stunt” to create a perception that might engender a big enough bump in feel good vibes to generate more revenue than the stunt consumed.

I get the need to be profitable. You can’t have an impact without a voice. And, you can’t have a voice if you don’t have a viable means to sustain your efforts. Money matters.

But, I’m increasingly drawn to what Brian Clark might call the corporate responsibility third tribe.

A growing movement of C-suite executives who strive to build powerful, impactful organizations that profit and maximize shareholder wealth not as the result of the more traditional crush, dominate, slash and burn approach, but rather as a byproduct of a fierce sense of corporate citizenship. And, I am stunned at how profitable some have become.

Interface is an interesting example of this. After years in traditional carpet manufacturing, Interface founder, Ray Anderson refocused the company on sustainability, retooling nearly every process, shifting resources and vendors in the name of what he calls Mission Zero: “our promise to eliminate any negative impact our company may have on the environment by the year 2020.” And, in the process, the company created FLOR, a sustainable flooring product, lowered net greenhouse gas emissions by 82%, dropped fossil fuel usage 60% per unit of production, decreased water usage 75%…and decreased costs by $400 million, increased sales by 67% and doubled profits.

Similarly, Chouinard’s Patagonia continues to build on it’s legendary footprint as a leader in corporate citizenship with it’s “birth to birth” initiative:

“…we’ve teamed up with some Japanese companies to, basically by 2010, make all our clothing out of recycled and recyclable fibers. And we’re going to accept ownership of our products from birth to birth. So if you buy a jacket from us, or a shirt ,or a pair of pants, when you’re done with it, you can give it back to us and we’ll make more shirts and pants out of it.

Which is a different idea about consuming. Right now the world runs on consuming and discarding, and we’re saying that we’re taking responsibility for our products from birth to birth. Can you imagine if a computer company said, “When you’re done with your computer, we’ll buy it back from you and make more computers out of it.” Instead, they sell you computer and you can’t even get service from them!” From Chouinard’s book, Let My People Go Surfing.

It’s a different way of accepting responsibility.

So, as I look at what’s unfolding on our planet, when I look at the impact the “by any means necessary” approach to corporate growth has had on the world, when I meditate on my entirely selfish hopes and dreams for the world my daughter will inherit…these are the people and the companies I look to learn from. And, to emulate.

And, I wonder…

What might the world look like 20 years from now if a growing number of freshly-minted and not so minty-fresh entrepreneurs and corporate leaders did the same?

Just thinking…and hoping.

How about you?

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How to Deal with Headhunters

In addition to my current practice as a resume writer, career transition coach and social media strategist, I have spent 20+ years as an independent talent acquisition specialist, the 21st century name for "head-hunter." So I am qualified to say that relying on recruiters should not be at the top of your list of ways to find a new position. The reasons, of which there are many, we can discuss at another time. The most obvious being recruiters get paid by and therefore owe their allegiance to the client and not the candidate.

However recruiters – generalists, job or industry specific, technical, executive or retained – can help you in many ways and it is important to understand what they are and how to behave when dealing with a recruiter in order to get results.

First off, just like you most recruiters are in business for the long haul; and just like you they live or die based on the quality of the network they establish.

You want to build a network of people to keep you in the loop regarding unadvertised job opportunities and good recruiters are always looking to network with people who can refer candidates their way for new assignments. And who knows, when you least expect it they may call you and tell you they have the perfect job for you. So even if a recruiter can’t help you today it pays to establish a relationship with recruitment professionals who have a sterling track record of integrity and some longevity in the business.

What can a recruiter do for you?

Recruiters are a great source of information about companies, what careers are in vogue, which are on the upswing and which are fading, and what the salary parameters are in different occupational sectors etc. Even if you are not a potential placement for a recruitment firm at this time, recruiters are willing to share information with you if you are willing to share information back with them, even if you are not a highly skilled or sought after candidate.

So here are some do and don’ts about dealing with recruiters from their side of the table.

  1. Many people see recruiters only as middlemen who can open doors, and think recruiters only want perfection in a candidate, which is true to a great extent on both counts.

    Therefore many candidates will outright lie to a recruiter and embellish who they are, what they have done and what they are looking for in terms of a job and salary with the thought in mind that if and when they meet the recruiter’s client they will come clean and tell the truth. This does not work. Recruiters are for the most part great judges of talent and character, and their clients do not react well when the person they meet does not live up to the recruiter’s hype.

  2. Many candidates act differently in an interview with a recruiter than they do during an interview with an employer. For instance, when asked if they have any questions most will say no.

    This is bad etiquette and bad business. When you want someone to help you treat them with the respect they deserve. Also remember that how you interview with them is how they will see you interviewing with their client. If you fail to relate or show enthusiasm with them a recruiter will blow you off in a minute even if you are a qualified candidate. There reputation to the client means much more than any one candidate.

  3. Recruiters need to know your real weaknesses as well as your strengths. Being dishonest with a recruiter is the same as being dishonest with yourself. Recruiters may call you about one job, but the chance of your getting that job is at BEST 15% in most cases. However if a recruiter likes you he or she will keep you in mind for other positions and let others in their firm and with firms they network with know about you. This can increase your network by as much as 100%. However this will only pay long term dividends if the recruiter has the whole picture and can make an honest assessment of who you really are and where you will fit.
  4. A phone interview is not a casual chat. A recruiter wants to get a sense of your personality to determine if a face-to-face or more in-depth interview is warranted, so treat this as a real interview not an informal phone chat with a casual friend. Don't put on airs and change your personality because you can’t be seen. Be business like but also be you. Most important do not take a phone interview in a casual position, a place where there is outside distraction or on a poor phone connection.
  5. Last but not least, follow up with recruiters but don’t be too persistent or demanding of answers. Some candidates I have come across become obnoxiously aggressive—and, in doing so, kill their chances at being called when the right job does come along.

Author:

Perry Newman, CPC CSMS is a nationally recognized executive resume writer, career coach, AIPC certified recruiter and SMMU certified social media strategist known for his ability to help his clients get results. You can view his sample resumes at http://www.perrynewman.com/, and email him your resume at perry@perrynewman.com for FREE resume critique.

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