Recent Posts – Page 13 – Career Life Institute

Disciplines of Pleasure

I have always been fascinated with energy in many forms, particularly my own. Personal energy can change in a moment or last for what seems to be forever. Energy: like success and failure; that certain spark between people that is ignited; helplessness and hopelessness; joy and creativity; deep, soulful grief, as deep as the Pacific Ocean; the miracle of simultaneity, or magic. But most of all, I am in awe of the profound effects that occur to our energy which are brought about be doing simple practices of earth, air, water, fire, meditation or prayer.

Take for example, how I felt about an hour ago, after returning home from a busy day working in an office. I thought about an article I had agreed to submit to Access and for some reason, the spark or thrill just wasn’t there. I had started several articles and they just died out. I knew, however, that I wanted to write about energy, yet I had none. My brain was at a standstill. I began to feel fed-up and that maybe I really had nothing of value to say.

So, I took my tape recorder into the bathroom, turned it on and filled my bathtub. I got into the tub, laid back and knew that something would come, in time. I even laughed to myself thinking that maybe I would only record running water!

One thing I knew for sure was that whenever I use any one of the practices of the eternal elements (earth, air, water, fire) my energy always turns around, eventually. I breathe and let the tired, low self-esteem thoughts flood my mind. I just hung out in my bath.

After a short time I felt a change and said aloud, “I really like telling stories about myself and perhaps someone else does also.” Voila! My energy returned with zest. And so I have a story:

I was living in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, just north of Truckee, at a hot springs resort (also the International Rebirthing Training Center). I had several titles and I was not paid for the work I did. But I loved living there. In the morning, I awoke about 5 a.m. and in the evening went to bed at 2 a.m..

Simply said, I loved what I was living. Never before have I so TOTALLY lived the fullness of my energy. And, I was also fulfilling my heart’s desire in assisting my friend, Leonard Orr.

But I also had to make money. I owned this gorgeous, black, “whupdeedo” Ford Aerostar van which I called my “Om NaMaHa Shivaya mobile.” The monthly payments were $350. So, once a month, for a week, I would go to San Francisco, set up Rebirthing sessions with former clients and give consultations. Sometimes I gave a workshop or worked part-time for a friend who owned a large jewelry wholesale business in the garment district. I also got to spend time with my beloved husband, Pravesh.

One month, I had an appointment at the University of San Francisco’s School of Dentistry, to talk to interns about how to help their patients to relax while having work done. I left this meeting feeling very successful, professional, and excited about subsequent meetings we had planned.

As I approached the corner where I parked my van, I noticed it wasn’t there! I panicked! All of the sudden I read the sign, “Tow-away zone, 4p.m.-6p.m..” Then I vaguely (groan) remembered seeing the sign when I parked, but took no notice (in too much of a hurry). I called the police. They told me my car had been impounded, was located across town and would cost $120 to get it out! Instant terror! Have you ever noticed how under siege your body feels when you are faced with a “we want your money now” edict?

I called Pravesh, who lived in Mill Valley, and asked to borrow the money with assurances I would repay him before I left, seven days later. Also, would he take me to get my car? He was furious. He chewed me out for being so careless (as though I didn’t already do that to myself!). I was even more devastated, both at being $120 in the hole and starting out in disharmony with Pravesh.

I sat down on the steps leading to the admissions area; I couldn’t stop the tears. I was consumed in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. After my tears subsided, I took out a notepad and furiously wrote thoughts of doom and gloom. Unbridled, they poured out. The more I wrote, the more the feelings of being out of control began to subside. Then, I noticed a change in my energy, in my thinking, I thought, “OK, I have to make money. How will I do that?”

I had completed a cycle of energy, or “temporary insanity,” as my friend Leonard Orr calls such a state. When a feeling is total, it cannot go down any deeper. It can only touch the bottom and begin to move back up. Such was the case with me. Resurrection!

I wrote a list of all the ways I could make money in seven days: consultations and Rebirthing sessions; I would call a friend who sometimes needs computer entry. I then wrote down the names of people I liked and would feel comfortable calling to say that I was in town and would they like a session or consultation.

In my appointment book I marked the days and wrote in the times that I wanted to see those potential clients. I knew that to make things happen in the physical world, making time or space for those things to happen increases the likelihood that they will happen. By the time Pravesh arrived, an hour later, I had my entire week planned. I felt positive and more in control. Every time I take action, the feeling of fear or being out of control disappears.

By Friday, on the fifth day, I had repaid Pravesh and had make my usual $500 for the week. I had not realized that I had a “$500 a week barrier” and I was able to burst through that. (By the way, many people have such a barrier.)

By the week’s end, I had a wonderful time with Pravesh and with my clients and friends and felt proud and secure that I had made the money that I needed to take care of myself. After a week full of work I was brimming in energy. I had made a special point to “do my practices” which relax me enough so that people will want to be around me. And, I had a great time!

Leonard Orr coined another phrase: “The Disciplines of Pleasure,” which are very simple and available to most of us. These are practices of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, Meditation or prayer. Since our bodies are made up of earth, air, water and fire (digestion; the electricity of an inspiring thought), it only makes sense that when any of those elements are out of balance or missing, we feel it in the forms of tiredness, wanting to give up, anger, indifference, confusion or even physical illness.

Whenever you feel or hear some say, “I’m bummed out,” the antidote is clear; withdraw from people and hang out with fire from a fireplace or even lit candles (at least five). This is known as Fire Purification, because when you are in the presence of fire over a period of time, you’ll become more clear, creative, energetic, relaxed and joyful. Greeting the sunrise or sunset in silence is another form. Fire literally burns off the death urge (any life negating thinking or actions) and negativity.

The Earth Principle is also included in this remedy; being out in nature. Other forms of this principle are playing or listening to percussion instruments, fasting, movement, exercise, massage, and having a career you enjoy.

Years ago I adopted this practice of taking time out from the world–a day of aloneness and silence. At day’s end, I am usually bursting with energy, creativity, and deep, deep satisfaction for just being ordinary ME! Taking time off, regularly, can literally save your life and this is, for most people, the most difficult activity: stopping.

Bathing twice daily is the Water Principle (preferably in a bathtub), in the morning to dissolve the deep sleep, dreams, items left over in your mind from the previous day and a wonderful way to emerge from the nightly womb-the bed. Bathing before your evening meal washes off the psychic energy that we all collect during the day and allows moments to stop and make the transition into the evening.

There are hundreds of breathing techniques: the Air Principle. How about, right now, breathe in fully–high into your lungs–and let the air just drop out, freely, effortlessly, as though you were pouring water out of an upturned bucket. No pushing out, just letting go. A simple breathing exercise can instantly shift your energy, it can bring you energy! Chanting by moonlight is another form of air purification, as is getting out of your bath and letting the air dry your body.

Here is a simple breathing exercise which Leonard Orr created for Americans who want to do everything in 30 seconds; it’s called 20 Connected Breaths:
1.    Take four short breaths, breathing in and out in such a manner that there are no gaps between breathing and letting your breath “drop” out.
2.    That is one set of breaths.
3.    Repeat this four times – four short breaths and one long breath.
4.    Don’t be afraid if you feel sensations in your body for it is just energy that you feel. Do this daily and you’ll gain a lot of knowledge about your breathing.

Incorporating these simple practices into your life may give you more heaven than you now know, but you have to do it to know even that. Try one regularly, then another and another and become the scientist of your own energy body.

Elemental purification cleanses, nourishes and balances. Do it and you will understand what is meant by “Disciplines of Pleasure.” Enjoy!

The Lemonade Stand Principle

I wonder if I was born an entrepreneur. Maybe I just learned, at an early age, that it was more fun to have money than not to have money.

My earliest recollection of my ability to earn money was at age 6, when I sold flowers which I took out of the nearby Lutheran Church garbage bin.

Faithfully on Mondays, the church secretary would put the flowers in the bin; and faithfully after school (first grade), I would take the flowers out, tear out the bad spots and sell them. I would go along the neighborhood streets, door-to-door, peddling my flowers minus the bad spots. I was successful at it. People would give me coins for my little bunches of flowers tied by a red string and when I would get to my last bouquet, I’d knock on the door of the home where the Catholic nuns lived. A very warm and loving sister would give me a small picture of Jesus, in lieu of coins, for my flowers. I did this every Monday like clockwork.

Later on, after selling all of my flowers I took my accumulated pictures of Jesus and gave them to some to the old folks at the nursing home next door to the church.

Somehow, at an early age, I had an “eye” for what could be special to someone else for which I could be paid. I must also have been undaunted, creative, imaginative and have had a measure of freedom from my parents. I am certain, though, that I tremendously enjoyed this. I made special friends.

Whenever the carnival would come to town, I’d go to the “penny pitch” and return home with enough ash trays, glasses, bowls and plates to set up shop. With my card table placed in front of the house, right alongside the sidewalk, I’d sell my wares for ten cents each. I made a profit and I always sold out!

Then I really got into business with my lemonade stand, which I would faithfully set up every Saturday morning and keep it up until 2p.m. At age 6, I was selling lemonade at five cents a glass. I remember making my table beautiful with a tablecloth (I also ironed at a young age) with the finishing touch of red and orange geraniums in a green Coke bottle.

Kids came, so did heir mothers. Even the scary old woman who lived in the proverbial darkened mysterious house down the street sent a note, via the passing mailman, that she wanted me to bring her a cup of lemonade. So I did and for my efforts she gave me twice the amount – 10 cents. That was an interesting lesson: I learned about going that “extra mile”.

I then expanded to include red Kool-Aid for 3 cents a glass because it was cheaper to make and I cheated a little on the sugar. The old woman gave me a 20 pound bag of sugar she no longer used and people liked my Kool-Aid. Later when lemons got costly, I added different flavors of Kool-Aid, even putting some dry Kool-Aid powder in small envelopes for 2 cents. Kids could buy it, pour it out onto their hands and lick the dry and sour powder. As summer came on I included frozen Kool-Aid ice cubes for one penny each. By then I was 8 years of age.

Some days were filled with many trips to the house to get more cold ice water of Kool-Aid ice cubes; other days I went to and from the house because I drank more than I sold! I stayed with this venture for three summers and most Saturdays during school.

I must confess, though, that my Mom put a halt to my entrepreneurial spirit when I charged 5 cents for neighbor kids to wiggle the stiff body of my dead cat Rusty who was on the porch in a box waiting to be picked up by the Humane society!

As I look back, I was in Lemonade Stand Training School, for I learned some lessons that are with me still. I learned:

I, independently, could make something happen.
I had earning power.
To use and sell products that I loved.
I could sell things for money or by trading.
How to negotiate (negotiate means that both partied are satisfied with the deal).
How to be generous. (I would give someone a whole glass of lemonade so they could taste it. Most people would, in turn, buy more. I also gave many free glasses to my buddies.)
To be consistent.
To have completed transactions.

The idea that I learned from my friend Leonard Orr-to have many sources of income-is a smart one and can liberate you from the dependency created by one source of income and the tremendous fear of having it taken away. It can be easy when you relax your mind, become inventive, move from the idea of “selling” to “offering” and let go of attachment to “making the deal”. You can be employed full-time and get involved with products or trade and “do it on the side”.

YOU CAN SELL IDEAS. HSU and CR (local colleges) sell ideas. If you have ever paid tuition, you have purchased ideas. You can sell ideas by giving a class, workshop, a seminar. You can be a consultant if you have something to advise or teach.

YOU CAN SELL PRODUCTS OR SERVICES. There are Avon ladies and Mary Kay consultants; vendors at the Farmer’s Market and North Country Faire; there are sidewalk sales and yard sales and garage sales; there are parties to show beautiful and unusual baskets, Tupperware and intimate apparel; there are Sunrider and Blue Green Algae to take for inner health and cleansing; there’s Toby across from Arcata City Hall selling flowers; and Don in the Arcata Plaza selling hot dogs and sausages.

He is a great entrepreneur. He expanded his business as he saw what people wanted: coffee, tea, hot chocolate and tofu hot dogs. He will even give you a shoe shine! There is no end to what can be available for you. Just select a service or product for which someone will be willing to pay you.

The workplace in 21st century will be a different configuration than we’ve known in the past. Our mentality of largeness seems to be turning around to more simple form. Did you know that home-based business comprises more than 50% of all new businesses in the U.S. and 75% of the new businesses in Canada? The rise in mail-order catalogues and multilevel marketing of products is testimony that people want to buy either at home or in a more personal manner.

The workplace in 21st century is also going to be one of the multi-careers and simultaneous careers. If you are able to change with the changes this can be an exciting time in making money to take care of your needs. Leonard Orr says that: we should stay with a career or product for at least 5 years or until we have become successful with that career or product so that we create patterns of success rather than failure.

So, I’ve created what I will call the “Lemonade Stand Theory” as a way to expand your income. If you think about it you have probably done it. For fun, jot down all of the jobs that you have ever had- all of the things you have ever sold. Then write down all of the things you have done without pay but that you could be paid for. You may be reminded of your capabilities and experience.

Naturally, you must have the “glue” that holds it all together. I think that is made up of personal energy, inspiration, self-esteem and the willingness to show up or have you or your product out where people will know about it, where they live or shop or hang out. Display it or have it available, or you be available and don’t take yourself too seriously.

Susan Yashoda Deschenes teaches classes in clientele building and in relaxation. She lives in Arcata and drinks lemonade to this day.

Your Life

A great friend of mine (Dennis Gaskill) recently shared his latest video with me. It is a quick reflection on being yourself in a world that is constantly trying to tell you who to be.

You can find out more about Boogie Jack and his wonderful resources by going to his website: http://BoogieJack.com.

You can also listen to an interview I did with him several years ago where he describes his own success in the Internet world by going here….

BoogieJack Interview

…and if you liked the video, be sure to click on it and leave Dennis a comment at YouTube.

Using Language to Help You Get the Results You Really Want

As I listened to several conversations over the past couple of weeks, I began to notice how much the language being used was actually helping to maintain the level of frustration I heard. That got me thinking about cause and effect.

The language we use with ourselves is immensely influential. Just take a few minutes to listen to the kinds of things you are currently saying to yourself, especially during times of stress.

For instance, if you are feeling overwhelmed by all the things that have somehow been added to your schedule, how many of these might you be saying or feeling:

"Oh, I'll never get this done in time!" (and it's making me feel even more pressure/guilt, etc.)

"I don't know where to start" (and I feel like I'm just chasing my tail.)

"There's too much to do" (and all I can see is that overwhelmingly large picture.)

"It just isn't fair!" (and why did it have to happen to me?)

Obviously, we each have our own way of dealing, or not dealing, with what happens in our life. Especially if we're facing change.

When we feel any unwanted emotion, the most important thing we can do, and the first step to recovering our balance, is to manage our own state of being. If we're stuck in the negative feelings, it's more difficult to have access to all of our own best resources.

The way we "frame" our thinking directly affects the answers and responses we are going to get. In managing our lives, which often means dealing with the circumstances, we can either be at the effect of what happens to us, or we can be in control of how we respond or react.

When we take on a "victim" or helpless attitude, we limit ourselves to thinking that assumes we have no choices, that we are limited by what is granted to us or what is allowed by someone outside ourselves.

When we shift our internal voices slightly and assume responsibility for our experience, we open up many more possibilities for acquiring or achieving what we really want.

All of us have resorted to disempowering questions at some time in our lives – "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why did I do this again?"

These kinds of questions keep us stuck – our internal computers (brains) are busy creating the justifications for our current situations rather than looking for ways to improve, expand, or get the more beneficial results we really want.

By shifting our language, even slightly, we will often dramatically shift the focus for our problem-solving computer/brains, getting much more useful results.

Think about how different your responses will be to those previous thoughts when you make any of the following shifts:

"What can I do right now to help insure this gets done in time?"

"What small step can I take to move this forward right now?"

"What are the key elements that must be done?"

In these examples, notice that we shifted our focus from being at the effect of external causes to being in control by taking responsibility for what we are experiencing. That simple shift of language gives us a sense of power over our circumstances rather than the helplessness we felt before. We can use the same kind of thinking to ensure we ask ourselves empowering (instead of disempowering) questions. First of all, by allowing ourselves to become more fascinated (rather than frustrated) by what we are experiencing, and then by shifting our perspective to one of internal control or one of possibilities.

So, our questions (from above) could become, "How can I make sure this doesn't happen to me again?" and "What could I do to respond more resourcefully next time?"

Again, notice how this simple shift opens up many more options and possibilities, how many more choices we have, and how much more personal control we have. Same circumstances, different framework.

Christine Lavin has a great song in which she says "He's not a victim, he's a volunteer". Unfortunately that describes too many of us who have become used to believing that the circumstances in our lives control our experience of the world rather than remembering that we're the ones who create the context. And that ultimately we do have the power to control our own responses, including how and where we look for answers.

We can choose to get small and limit our experience and results by cutting off our enjoyment and our possibilities, or we can open up to the possibilities of being and having more by becoming responsible for how we manage our thoughts, feelings and responses. We have the choice every moment, and we are only limited by the framework we have constructed for ourselves.