As a sole proprietor (well, in my case I have a partnership, but it's still nearly the same) it's vitally important to remember that without YOU, the business doesn't exist. The most important thing you can do for your business is to take care of yourself. It's harder for women because traditionally we're used to taking care of everyone else, first.
So I'm issuing a challenge to all of us: set really good boundaries regarding your work. These can be boundaries about what kinds of work you'll accept, the deadlines you're willing to work under, the expectations others have of you, or simply, how long your workday is. I don't have to tell you where you need to place them – you already know that!!
Boundaries are a simple and powerful way to honor the quality of what we bring to life, and ultimately, what we bring to the workplace, and they help insure we don't end up getting "burnt-out" because of the overwhelming requirements we've taken on. The really interesting thing about boundaries is that we're the only ones who can set, enforce and protect them. Expecting others to understand or honor them requires that we do, too.
Most of us think we have to "power through" on the deadlines, forgetting about lunch, breaks, or sometimes, about sleep. Believe me, the work will still be there waiting for you, regardless of whether you take a break or not.
I've finally begun to really understand how important time away is. I still work many more hours than I thought I would as a small business person (of course I used to work that many hours in corporate, too), but now I make sure that I "close up shop" so to speak at or before 6:30 when my husband comes home from work.
And I've begun to take weekends off, too. In fact, I'm experimenting with half-to-full day Fridays off to compensate for having to teach classes in the evenings. It's fun, and in the past month I've been able to finish a quilt for our new grandchild due in February. Taking this time has given me the chance to finish something that's important to me, my daughter and the new baby. And I've had time to recharge my batteries. What I always notice when I take those breaks from work is that I'm so much more refreshed when I pick up the work again. My creativity comes back, along with my sense of humor!!
I read an alarming statistic not long ago that indicated heart disease, traditionally a "man's" ailment, is on the rise in women. I think that's because we're all facing the same kinds of stresses now that men always faced in the working world. Plus, most of us have even LARGER loads because of our own traditional roles as women. And those of us who work alone don't even have someone to talk about it with!!
So let's be smarter, and learn to be very firm about how and where we set our boundaries. In fact, to be REALLY radical, make your boundary three times bigger than you think you need. That way you'll have a lot more room for the unexpected that always seems to crop up. And be firm about "educating" your environment about exactly where those boundaries begin. A boundary helps to protect the Self in a way that nothing else can. When you set your boundaries out far enough, you have plenty of time to ACT rather than just REACT. You protect yourself and the other person, too.
I have a CPA friend who works from home. When she's working on a project, she puts a money clip on the bulletin board outside her office so that her husband, who also works from home, understands that she's unavailable for chitchat during that time. When the money clip has been moved to inside the office, he can come talk with her about whatever he thinks is important. A creative boundary that supports them both!!
In many of my previous jobs, my downfall was not allowing enough room (time, money, flexibility) for the emergencies. When we set our boundaries and honor ourselves by sticking to them, the "crisis-management" decreases and we stop feeling so jammed up. And when we feel more relaxed about ourselves, it's so much easier to share that wonderful creative spark that's uniquely our own. As women, that sense of contribution is important, so honor yourself, set firm boundaries, and let that spark be more available.
© 1999 Katie Darden